Various shades of yes

My daughter has been away for six days now and although it is stretching out interminably I have not had more free time. I don't know what happened on Friday, oh yes, it was COLD and my son and I decided to stay inside all day and survive sans groceries! On Saturday I finally made the trip to the post office to mail off broken camera and to the library to return all the overdue material. Then the little one and I trooped into town to check out the big sales at Kohl's. Not too bad, I go my husband a bunch of new work shirts which he desperately needed and a new winter coat for my daughter at a major bargain. It was a nice day (first one in forever) and when I got home I suggested to my husband that we go check out the birds to which he agreed. Of course by the time the baby had eaten, he was ready for a nap and so was I. In fact I was starting to feel increasingly crappy and begged for a rain check until Sunday when the weather was supposed to be even more glorious. By Sunday I was suffering from the full-on flu. This of course not only forced my husband to be on baby duty all day but also meant no rain check; news that did not go over too swimmingly but what are you going to do? This brings up another contentious issue. Have I ever mentioned that some of my children's sleep problems are actually my problems? I am so paranoid that they are going to smother themselves in their beds that I do not sleep well unless they are within touching distance. My daughter consequently did not sleep through the night until she was 2 1/2 during which time I had to physically restrain myself from going in and checking on her and invariably waking her up. But fast forward to my son. He has always slept better than my daughter did, partly due to me having less time to bug him and a temperament difference. But lately he has not been snoozing well at night. First I chalked it up to teeth (which he did get two of) then I said, it was his congestion which seemed to build up overnight (which was true but why could he sleep fine in my bed even with a stuffy nose?). Anyway, I finally had to bite the bullet and admit that part of the problem was that just like all the people who profess to know about such things claim, nursing your baby to sleep for every nap and every night (and all night) can really lead to sleep problems. In fact my actualization was reaffirmed when I was randomly perusing blogland links on friend's blog pages and happened to come across another rant about infant sleep issues and Ferber's analogy on nursing to sleep. In the words of BarrenMare:

Enter Ferber. He uses a helpful analogy to explain what may be going on. Imagine you go to sleep every night with your cosy duvet and pillow, and then someone comes in while you are sleeping and steals your pillow. Not only that, but they move your sleeping bod to the living room floor and lock you out of your bedroom. So when you wake up (as you will certainly do, since everyone experiences partial wakings during the night), you find yourself cold, uncomfy and pissed off- on the living room floor! And of course you'd be crying for someone to come let you back into your bedroom. Because how the hell are you supposed to sleep on the damn floor? Bastards stole your pillow!

Eloquently put, no? After some discussion with my husband we decided it was time for at least an attempt at the infamous sleeptraining My husband's first attempt was a bit of a backfire (I was feeling sorry for myself in bed). He decided to let him cry and see if he would settle. I happened to say, well there is one school of thought that says to go in after five minutes then ten, then twenty, etc. So he went in after five minutes, picked him up, and rocked him to sleep. What did the little boy learn? Cry for five minutes and someone will come in and rock you to sleep. Anyway, that night I nursed him then made sure he was awake and laid him down in his crib. Enter pissed of boy. I went in after five and told him I still loved him, then after ten, and before another fifteen he was asleep. Not TOO bad. He woke up 45 minutes later and we went through it again, but this time he was asleep before five. He then slept until 3 a.m. at which point I brought him downstairs and he didn't even nurse until 5 a.m. All in all a much improved rest for all. The next day he went happily down for both naps and nighttime with out much fuss. Tuesday he went down for both naps at two different friend's houses and to bed again (for my husband while I was working) without a fuss. Who wouldn't have thought it could be this easy? The problem though is that I do not sleep well because I know he now rolls all over the crib and will not sleep without his blanket and bear (which he likes to keep over his face). I am continually checking on him to find him completely fine. I know I could probably get him to sleep through using similar methods, but I don't really sleep until I bring him downstairs with me in the wee hours of the morning safe and sound. Maybe I need the sleep training. The moral is that the sleep training was not as I had feared. A few final thoughts. The vacuum finally broke on Monday. The timing is horrible, but I was very excited because that vacuum has been the bane of my existence. I can now finally justify replacing it with one that is quieter and oh maybe works! And just if you are wondering, I even tried to fix it, but it is a busted piece of plastic and is beyond repair. Finally, my two days back at work went really well. It was nice to be out and my son did splendidly for my husband. I even left him with a friend yesterday and did some shopping and got a professional haircut for the first time in nearly three years. He is such a mellow little man. Now if I could just get my daughter back from the grandparents all would be well. Although what this all has to do with the title may be a bit existential, it just felt right.