Never Easy

Maybe I just let things stress me out too much but the first few months of pregnancy just suck! Not in the traditional sense, I don't have morning sickness or any of those traditional ailments, but I bleed. And it sucks. Every time it happens I try to not let it bother me, but it does. This time I thought I might have gotten away without it since I went 9 1/2 weeks without bleeding but then I had that bleed and now I've been having spotting, not a lot but enough to stress me out. I have been going back and forth about whether to rent a doppler again. I did with my son and I found it very reassuring following the spotting episodes, but what if I couldn't find the heartbeat? That would stress me out even more! After yesterday though I ordered one. I think everything is still okay. I think the bleeding had to do with some sugar I ate (yeah, can you believe it?, a bite of my daughter's birthday cake) or maybe all the laundry I had to haul to the basement the day before or who knows. Both times I've spotted I've had a lot of cramping too which is much more scary than the bleeding. Yesterday actually I was having what felt like cervical pain (the kind you get when you are starting to dilate) can you tell why that might have unnverved me? But for now it seems to have stopped and I'm hoping that when I get the doppler in the mail next week I'll find the little heartbeat and be reassured. I am still really hesitant about sharing my news, but since I finally had to break out the maternity pants, I don't think I will be able to slip under the radar much longer. If I go by the u/s I will be 13 weeks tomorrow, which is the end of the 1st trimester! Bring on the 2nd tri!
In other news, my daughter's 4th birthday went fab. She had a wonderful time at the bouncy house with some of her friends. We had homemade banana cupcakes with strawberry frosting (her choice and I hear they were pretty good) then all went out for yummy pizza after. Then we had more cupcakes and icecream with just the four of us later and opened presents. She told me at one point, "Mom, I'm shaking because I'm so happy"! The next day she got to bring treats to her preschool class so the fun continued. The high temperature on her birthday was -5 degrees Fahrenheit and a windchill approaching -30, but we are from Minnesota and since it wasn't snowing we ventured out. I'm glad we did, it was really a good time.
Pierce is teething again, he's cutting his eyeteeth and also seems to have picked up a cold. So after almost a week of sleeping through the night we are back to crap sleep, argh! This too shall pass, right?