Where have you been hiding?

Ha! Who would have thought I am incredibility superstitious? For some reason in my mind if you don't talk about something, or let yourself hope, you won't jinx it. Probably silly, but who needs reason? Well, I guess what I haven't been talking about is that baring the unexpected, we are going to have another (surprise) baby the end of June. We had our first appointments last week and the baby looks healthy and according to them (I know otherwise) I am now about 11 1/2 weeks along. My son had been nursing through all of this since I was unwilling to wean him in case things didn't work out, but my milk basically dried up and it was so uncomfortable it just seemed like the right time to be done. He does not seem the worse for wear, I'm a little sad as we cut those last strings to babyhood. The horribly sad thing is that he would have happily nursed along so I feel like it was largely my choice not his. Anyway, getting past that the kids are doing well. My daughter was very unhappy with the news of a new baby, she said her brother was enough but seems to have somewhat warmed to the idea. I on the other hand still have lots of anxiety that I hope will clear up in the next couple of months. Given all the troubles we had trying to have our first two children, it is very strange to enter a pregnancy from this mindset, just not feeling ready. But children are a blessing and wonderful, and I'm sure the new baby will fit right in to the madness.