I wonder...

I just don't know what to expect anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't know what tomorrow will feel like. I don't know where my husband is. He had to go in for a meeting with HR today, I got a call from one of his friends telling me I should try to get him to take FMLA since he wouldn't listen to this guy. I asked if he had talked to him, he said yes, I said well I haven't... I want to know that he will be happy again, sometime. I want to know that he doesn't truly believe that we would be better off without him. I had a friend in high school who I remember breaking down crying saying his father had not loved him enough to stay in this world. I don't want that to be my kids. I want to know what I can do to help. I am willing to work, but at the moment I can't make enought to justify daycare ($450 a week, wtf?) and my husband is not able to be responsible for the kids. I wish I knew whether to bring the kids to the doctor. My son has been sleeping poorly and woke last night with a barking cough. Last time he started sleeping like this he had a double ear infection. My daughter is also dragging but she begged to go to preschool. I think she is scared that if she misses a day she won't be allowed to go back. How is this all affecting her? She is a very bright little girl who does not miss a trick. Not that your father staying in bed all day is that hard to miss. Again, what is this doing to her? I thought things were a little brighter the end of last week. My husband went in to work to tie up some loose ends and he found out that his company will pay his benefits for at least 3 months while he looks for another internal job. He can also take his PTO until it runs out (I think he has 10 weeks) but over the weekend things really spiraled down for him psychologically. I can't even give advice because I have absolutely no idea what he's going through. I just wish he would come home or call so I know what is going on. I have absolutely no idea what I should do anymore. Thank you for all your support it really means a lot.